Heartbreaking decision - advice needed
Hi all. I'm in quite a horrific situ. Apologies in advance for the essay.
I got Tim (15yo) around 10 years ago. I was under 18 then so my aunt (who became my legal guardian after my mum died) put him in her name.
When we bought him he was underweight but passed a full vetting fine. He was beautifully behaved, but within about a month, he started displaying abnormal behaviour. He never did anything deliberately evil, but would violently spook for no reason and gallop full speed round the arena 20 times, PTSD like behaviour. I tracked down who imported him to England from Ireland and she said he had a very rough and rushed breaking. She said he had always been a very nervous soul, but never quite as bad as I described.
We checked back, saddle etc and found no issues. Any area you imagine a horse to be spooky he was solid (eg heavy traffic), but he was terrified of people and reacted so violently to such minor things such as someone leaning on the arena fence while I was riding that I completely lost my confidence. I tried not to give up but this happened 4/5 times, my instructor even suggested having him put down at one point as he was dangerous. I gave him all I could but eventually told my aunt I couldn't do it, and since my career was also taking off, I didn't feel I could dedicate the time, and risk the injuries, anymore. He did have periods where he was okay and the behaviour eased off, so I wanted to see if there was any possibility of selling/giving him to a more experienced rider as a project, I was sure someone could handle him. My aunt said no way as he would be passed around and end up somewhere bad, she begged me to let her have him on loan (even though he was technically her horse anyway). Since she could be extremely hostile when I disagreed with her, I let her. Even though I worried for her safety, I thought hey- you're a grown woman.
Obviously she had an accident on him, no broken bones but enough to make her lose her bottle. Shortly after this, he went down with severe colic. We had full insurance and so she decided to put him through the surgery (again, he was in her name). Ever since he's had mild/moderate colic every 6 months or so which has required a vets assistance. She continued to care for him as by then I had moved to London, but she continually made me feel very guilty about the situation.
After a while I decided to try one last time with Tim. I put him on Nupafeed which worked wonders, he was still extremely difficult to ride, I was still constantly on edge, I simply couldn't ride him the way you would a normal horse, but it was manageable. It happened less, but he continued to bolt violently now and then. Other people tried riding him including a professional jockey, but ironically by this point I was the only person he seemed to trust at all so none of these people had any luck with him.
In 2017 I moved overseas, Tim was meant to move out to join me 6 months later. Unfortunately in that time his colic got a lot more frequent, requiring a vet every month costing around £250. I told my aunt I felt we should not move him to Holland like this, but she said she was too old to look after him anymore and she needed out - she said I just didn't want him anymore now I had a new life abroad.
As an interim, we sent him to a retirement yard which was like horse paradise. Since then, he has not had one episode of colic, so vets think it could be stress related. This obviously means shipping him abroad and back on to a working yard is probably not an option.
My aunt seems to think it's the perfect option for him to live out his days here. What she forgets is I am paying £200 a month for him to be there, I don't have anything to do with him now, and because of this I cannot afford to have a horse here in Holland.
I would advertise him for free as a companion, but as a sports horse he is a poor do-er and needs a lot of food, stabling and thick rugs to keep him from dropping off. He would be far too much work for anyone looking for something as a play mate.
I feel horrible about this but I feel like having him PTS is the only option. The issue is my aunt honestly is likely to disown me over this, that is how difficult she can be when it comes to he horse. Not only that, he's still in her name. I just don't know what to do I am a responsible and loving horse owner but she makes me feel like an evil selfish witch. I would like any advice or opinions on whether I am making the right choice, or there could be another option. Thank you.
Submitted July 22, 2019 at 08:20AM by Belle3244
via reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/Horses/comments/cgdspw/heartbreaking_decision_advice_needed/?utm_source=ifttt
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