Pie family rap battle!
Well Epic Rap Battles of History are making a comeback and outside of watching each rap battle over again, I've been thinking almost exclusively about rap battles.
So I wrote this.
Enjoy.
[Pinkie]
Gaze into the eyes of Limestone Pie
Sour as two week old cream pie
With the personality of rotten lime
You're like an angry bulldog, with the voice of a half-decade daily smoker
I'd tell you to get out more, but you ain't exactly a looker.
I'm an always happy positive joker everypony likes to be around
So why don't you shut your croaker and stay in the background?
Come on, even your name is sour as lime
You should take a brake and smile sometimes
Come on, you're making the whole town frown
It's not good for your health, just watch your life count down
[Limestone]
Yo Marble, why don't you lay the beat down
While I commence this verbal beatdown
[Marble]
[Limestone]
Oh for pete's sake, Pinkie Pie
Hearing your voice makes me wanna die
I'm not even sorry, I refuse to lie
Challenging me? Girl just stay inside
Layers of chins around your neck should be coiling
But you get enough excercise being annoying
Every once in a while you gotta shut your fat face
'Cuz, I'll be the rock to stick you against a hard place
Filly, I'm older
My raps are colder
Ya gotta be bolder
Messing with the keeper of Holder's Boulder
I can have smarter talks with the rocks in the backyard
My raps are like your brain... rock hard
[Pinkie]
Ooh, listen to Captain Grumpy here
Wanna teach me a lesson? Buddy please!
Ya got less charisma than Gummy on the beach!
I'll school you with my adorable chubby cheeks
But teaching friendship to this miserable gruff
A whole curriculum wouldn't be enough
You don't even have friends, 'cause let's be honest
You've got a personality that makes ponies vomit
You're running the rock farm, that is true
'Cuz rocks don't care that you're a pile of poo
You hang out with Marble, but I'm sure if she could speak
She'd be saying "please deliver me from this freak"
[Limestone]
She doesn't have to talk, I'll give you her sting
You touch her face and make her ears ring
When you're around her face says everything
What I see is that you're way too overbearing
You're like a baby crying for attention
Only need the tiniest rejection
You go searching your reflection
To fuel you addiction for affection
Face it Pinkie,
Your life depends on other ponies
You expect the world from your homies
When they turn for a second, you're all sad and lonely
You wouldn't be hanging with Maud if it wasn't for me
[Maud]
Okay, Limestone, we've heard enough...
No need to spit out all your slough...
You think your raps are tough?...
Girl... don't make me laugh
...You wanna bring a solid flow?
...You need to set a closer goal
...There's water seeping through the cracks
My rhymes are stone cold, flowing like a river through the tracks
You think you're solid like diamonds, but the best you can do is rhinestone
The skeletal fragments of marine organisms inside actual limestone
Could pack a harder punch with their words against the curbstone
So don't go acting like you've been resting on the grindstone
You wanna mess with Pinkie?
I always knew you were dinky
They named a demon after her, you stinky twinky
Everypony thought your names were Inky, Blinky
Can't deny, you had your time, from season 5
But you spent your time, learning lines, for the time I found a guy
You can't break our stride, we will thrive, we have the drive
I'll pulverize, Limestone Pie, you're just garden lime
We had entire episodes dedicated to our bond
You only have headcanons and a heartbreak in a cheerful song
I always knew Marble was smarter than you, because I can hear you speak
Compared to hers, your performance is so fucking weak
[Pinkie]
[Igneous Rock and Cloudy Quartz]
What may be this mighty racket, our dear daughters?
Are thou trying to soil thine parents' hard work?
This is unbecoming of young rock farmers
Our dearest daughters, thy need to rock harder
Thou art nothing compared to the caverns of your origin
The tetrahedra of silicon and oxygen
And Igneous Rock, your sire
Who's stone cold and spits hot fire
You better learn your lore
Because we're the molten core
We will rock you to the core
Then give you an extra chore
Thou heard that right, better get to work
Before I make thou swallow thine words
[Limestone]
[Igneous Rock and Cloudy Quartz]
Submitted May 02, 2019 at 12:32PM by JesterOfDestiny
via reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/mylittlepony/comments/bjye89/pie_family_rap_battle/?utm_source=ifttt
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