So I just watched Season 2 Episode 1 of MLP for the first time.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH shit.
Guess who's back back back, back again.
GunNut's back back back, tell a friend.
For those of you who don't know, I am some random wayfarer of the internet who made some episode reviews a year ago people seemed to enjoy. But I suddenly disappeared, having come down with a severe case of joining the army. But now I have finally returned and what better way to kick things off than with the introduction of Discord! But first, some friendly links:
https://www.reddit.com/r/mylittlepony/comments/76gqmb/i_watched_episode_7_for_the_first_time/
https://www.reddit.com/r/mylittlepony/comments/77y65v/i_watched_episode_16_for_the_first_time/
Without further ado, I give you:
The Return of Harmony: Part 1 AKA It's easy to trick everyone when they're all stupid
We start off our episode with the cutie crusaders, the return of Apple Bloom (Cutest character don't @ me), Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle. And right off the bat, Apple Bloom being adorable by saying "Victoryful". Normally I would tear this apart, but she's just too cute. Then our class comes upon the statue of Discord and our plucky heroes start a civilized debate on the interpretation of contemporary art, which quickly turns into a slug fest. Now our teacher, being the paragon of virtue she is, just watches as she knows corporal punishment is a crime in Equestria but is still a firm believer in it, letting the little shits beat each other senseless until she remembers they're literally in the garden of the sovereign ruler of the land who presumably enforces such child rights laws and tells them to fucking knock it off.
On a side note, we later learn that Celestia turned Discord to stone with the elements of harmony. So, are you telling me that you left one of the most powerful beings in this universe just open to the public? Just sitting there, out in the FUCKING OPEN. WHERE CHILDREN CAN JUST WALTZ UP TO HIM. HE CAN TURN THE RAIN INTO CHOCOLATE MILK, THANK GOD THIS DUDE DOESN'T LISTEN TO SLAYER ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? CELESTIA. BE SERIOUS. PLEASE.
Anyway, surprisingly Discord's flimsy stone prison doesn't hold hi- LIKE THERE WEREN'T ANY GUARDS AROUND EITHER, IT WAS JUST A TEACHER AND HER CLASS OUT THERE. NO KIND OF SECURITY AT ALL. WHO IS YOUR MILITARY ADVISOR, CELESTIA?? DO YOU EVEN HAVE ONE OF THOS- m and he breaks out, setting his powers of chaos upon the land. Which, could be a whole hell of a lot worse, let's be honest. This dude is Bill Cipher lite, like if Bill Cipher took a major chill pill, that's Discord. At worst, it's just inconvenient. So everyone is low key freaking out, those rabbit horses are pretty gross though, I will admit.
So Celestia calls the team in and is like "I dun understand, how did this happen?" and the team doesn't question anything about her approach, which is sound logic. Then Discord shows up. So, Discord is probably one of my favorite characters. Just bursting with personality. So he starts talking mad shit and Dash is like "I'll get u" and forgets that windows are a thing I guess? She just smashes into a fucking window, solving absolutely nothing. Almost foreshadowing of the stupidity to come, though her reason for 'turning' is the most believable out of all of them. So Discord (who has stolen and hidden the elements btw, because Celestia is terrible at her job) gives them a riddle and peaces out. So Celestia is like "Hey, go clean up my mess," and everyone is like "Aight."
So they go to a maze outside of the palace, which is just there for some reason. Discord shows up and he's like "YEEET" and takes they're wings and horns and separates them. So like level-headed heroes they come up with a rendezvous point and Fluttershy just loses her shit while they take off. SO, our first example of stupidity comes from AJ. Now, I've always thought of AJ as a stoic and logical character. Someone who, although she might not be the smartest, can't be easily fooled.
HOW WRONG I WAS.
So we have Discord, a self proclaimed agent of chaos running this 'game' and one could easily make the connection he's controlling everything in this maze. So AJ, being a harbinger of common sense, BELIEVES EVERYTHING THESE WEIRD APPLE MONSTERS TELL HER. Oh you speak in rhymes, that's super trustworthy. Yeah, it makes me super comfortable when you circle me like a bunch of fucking vultures. Oh, you showed me this future where the band breaks up like we were in the fucking Eagles, THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT A RUSE TO SET ME OFF BALANCE. But she believes it, which allows Discord to turn her into a liar. By the way, every time she lies, she looks around like someone is about to blow her cover. It's actually pretty hilarious.
So Twilight shows up, she gets some weird vibes from AJ but is just like "Eh." So they move onto Pinkie Pie, who has the creepiest encounter out of all them with the balloons. At first she's like "lol all good here, these aren't unsettling at all." then Discord's like "All of ur friends think ur dumb and annoying and smell bad." and she's like "Nuuuuuuuuuu" and gets all pissy. Moving onto to Rarity, she actually has some willpower and self awareness at first, resisting the gems. But then she gives in and starts to become borderline sexually attracted to this diamond. Like if you listen to her voice when she first gets it, she is definitely thirsty for a rock.
By this point, half of the crew is acting weird and Twilight, THE SMARTEST OUT OF ALL OF THEM IS LIKE "WHY ARE MY FRIENDS ACTING SO WEIRD LMAO? COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT THEY ARE ALL GRAY NOW AND ALSO WE ARE WORKING AGAINST A CHOAS DEMON....NAAAAAHHHHHHH"
Next is Fluttershy. I love how Fluttershy is so self aware and modest she just agrees with Discord about her weaknesses until he's just like "fuck it" and manually corrupts her without any conniving. Thoroughly convinces me he just tries to fuck with their heads by speaking to them for the sheer joy of it. Also, I actually kind of like mean Fluttershy. She's a savage. Finally Rainbow Dash, the only vision that justifies her leaving. Homeboy shows her home falling out of the sky if she doesn't leave. That's a pretty damn good reason. I mean obviously its fake, but its the first example we get of Discord actually willing to physically harm ponies, illusion or not.
Then Discord pulls a Fallout: New Vegas "Game was rigged from the start." and disqualifies everyone since Dash peaced out. They get their shit back and we get a cliff hanger.
Give me some feedback. Do any of you actually remember me? Would you like to see more of these? I'm more than willing to do them. I read back all of my former posts and realized I was a lot more edgy back then haha. But if you fine people want more, ask and you shall receive.
Submitted December 16, 2018 at 08:27PM by TheGunNut
via reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/mylittlepony/comments/a6w1bu/so_i_just_watched_season_2_episode_1_of_mlp_for/?utm_source=ifttt
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