Rewriting Honest Apple
This episode kinda struck a chord with me in a way. I wanted to like it, I think it could have been good, but the way it was done it really... well, wasn't. IMO, obviously. I mentioned in the review thread that I had some ideas on specific scenes I'd change and some people seemed interested in seeing them, so here it is.
First major change is going to be the scene right after the theme song, where Rarity explains her reasoning for why she's choosing AJ as a judge. Now, while I personally don't really have too much of problem with it, I know its something a LOT of other people find unbelievable. So, what I'd do here is have Rarity state that she knows first-hoof how easy it is to get caught up in a design and completely ignore functionality. Show a flashback scene early in Rarity's career where she creates an outfit that's a little too outlandish, leading to some minor disaster. Have her bring up that if she had someone pointing out the impracticality of that particular design it would have helped her avoid an awkward situation. Follow up by having Rarity say that she wants to give the entrants the best, a well-rounded approach, and so having a judge who's grounded in practicality will give them an important perspective.
Next couple of scenes are fine, so the next one getting some major changes is the scene where the judges first meet the 3 contestants. Main change here is that all the fashions need to be sufficiently over-the-top silly. Lilly Lace says her inspiration was a song from the birds being carried by the breeze. So her outfit here would be a huge, showy dress with flowing pieces of fabric (meant to represent the wind) and music notes jutting off in all directions. Starstreak's would be 2 completely separate pieces of fabric not connected by anything (leading to the belt argument bit). Inky Rose's would be pretty similar, except the hood would be larger and pulled down covering most of the face.
Scene would progress pretty much the same as the original with AJ keeping quiet until the end. Rarity would call on her to speak up, and then she'd point out the practical problems with each. For Inky's, that you wouldn't be able to see, for Starstreak's that the fabric wouldn't stay in place once you started moving, for Lily's the fact that its too "poofy" and would be difficult and awkward to move around in. AJ's tone here would be more mocking of the silliness and impracticality. Starstreak's would be the final piece she commented on, which would lead to Photo Finish actually agreeing and then lead into the belt argument between Photo and Hoity. However, instead of that argument ending with Applejack getting angry and going off, Rarity just steps in and says her line about how "we've given the contestants enough to think about".
The Pinkie interlude / guitar scene would be mostly the same. Except Rarity would instead be concerned that Applejack isn't making her points in a very constructive way.
The second and third contestant meeting scenes would be cut / condensed into one scene next. I don't really see a need for 3 complete scenes, 2 should be enough to make the point. So the second scene has Lilly's feather hat, which is now completely outlandish with huge feathers going off in every direction. Inky's crazy button outfit, now with even more buttons (like, the entire outfit is now lined with buttons). And Starstreak's crystal outfit (the one from the end of the episode fashion show) but with the foot crystals going all the way up the legs in both the front and the back of each leg. Also of note, the outfits from the previous scene should all be in the background and unchanged.
The scene would progress pretty much like it does now, first hitting Inky's button outfit and the same criticism of how it'd take forever to prepare (but now more valid since the entire thing is lined in buttons). Though there'd be no "tearing it apart" bit, the scene would just progress to Lilly. Again I'm getting rid of AJ going so far as to destroy the hat, but she'd still point out the ties to Apple Bloom's hat and how this one would be unwieldy to wear and probably get caught on things. Then they'd move on to Starstreak, where AJ would now point out that you wouldn't be able to walk properly in those shoes since they're large and stiff. After hitting all 3 individually, AJ would really get frustrated as all 3 designers would be seeming to blow off her advice, and she'd point out that none of them took any of her advice from yesterday either (evidenced by the old outfits in the back unchanged). With AJ clearly getting frustrated and the judges / contestants taking offense, Rarity then takes AJ and they both leave the room to allow for the contestants a dry run of the show in prep for official show.
So we're getting rid of the whole "THE SHOW IS RUINED" bit. Its silly and overdramatic and you know its going to be resolved anyway. Instead, we get 2 scenes, one of Rarity and AJ talking and one showing the contestants' dry runs.
The scene stays with the contestants after AJ and Rarity leave, and they start their dry run for the show. During which they all have mishaps wherein Applejack's criticisms are all proven accurate. Lilly's model is stumbling around in her first dress, Starstreak's model has to keep adjusting her outfit to keep it on right, Inky's model bumps into a wall unable to see properly. During the second outfit portion Inky's model is frantically trying to get his outfit buttoned up while Starstreak's has trouble getting off-stage thanks to her shoes. Inky's model finally gets set and starts running towards the stage, he gets caught up in the feathers on the headdress Lilly's model is wearing, ends up stumbling towards Starstreak's model, who can't get out of the way and the two collide. The contestants realize that even though AJ was being dismissive and rude, she wasn't wrong.
We're also getting rid of the Strawberry Sunrise scene, because every time I watch it, I dislike it more and more that the moral was delivered in such a mean-spirited way. Instead, we have Rarity talking with Applejack. Rarity asks Applejack if she remembers the time that she and Twilight helped her with her chores around Sweet Apple Acres (callback to Applejack's Day Off). AJ says yeah, what about it, and then Rarity asks her how she would have responded to their criticisms if they had been mocking her the entire time. AJ says something like "I guess I wouldn't have been too happy you were makin' fun of me". Then Rarity asks how she might have responded if they had just been angry and yelling at her, and then AJ has her "AHA" moment about how she's been treating the contestants' work.
So now instead of a "get the show back together" type scene, we instead get a scene where AJ and the contestants come together, with AJ apologizing for being so mocking and dismissive with her criticisms and then getting angry, and the contestants admitting that while she didn't deliver her advice in a very constructive manor, she had good points. We get a modified short montage of them working together on each of their 3rd outfits, AJ providing input rather than just going along with whatever.
Fashion show happens pretty much like it does in the original, except here you can see the impact AJ's advice had on each design since they started out so outlandish. Lilly's feather headdress is now just the normal feather hat, and her original outfit is more streamlined. Starstreak's first outfit has the belt and his crystal outfit just the smaller shoes. Lilly's original outfit has the hood toned down and the button outfit has the more reasonable button count.
The last sticking point is the 3-way tie for the ending. It didn't annoy me quite as much as it annoyed other people, but it did have a bit of that "participation ribbon" mentality to it, just because you work hard you win. So here, I'd have AJ cast a proper vote (I think she'd go for Inky Rose, her designs are the least obstructive / would be the most wearable for her sort of "work"). HOWEVER, I do like the idea of all 3 getting to show in the Carousel Boutique regardless of who won the contest, so I would have AJ go and convince Rarity to let all of them show because it'd be a good opportunity for all of them and there's plenty of room to showcase all 3 designers. It'd be a way to let her give a critique in a more constructive, concise fashion and thus play into the revised moral of the episode.
So there we go. I personally think the episode would be a lot more engaging and a lot less mean-spirited / negative this way, and would thus enjoy it a lot more. I mean, obviously, I'm the one who did it so I damn well better like it, right? What do you all think? Did I make it better, or ruin it forever?
Submitted June 08, 2017 at 11:53AM by ElecManEXE
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