So I grew up around horses, but not really riding them. I still love horses and regret that I never learned to ride, but now I'm an adult and finally have the time and money to take formal lessons. The problem is that my last my last few lessons have been horrible. I'm worried that I'm some kind of horse idiot. I can steer and maintain a good position at the walk. But I still can't figure out the trot, how to fix it, or how all but the strongest people can manage to muscle these horses into a faster gait :(
Basically the instructor will be like, "ok, pick up the trot when you come out of the corner. Squeeze your legs." I squeeze my legs. "You have to squeeze harder than that!" I squeeze harder. "Is that as hard as you can squeeze? It has to be harder." I squeeze as hard as I can. "You should feel like you're crushing her ribs." I feel like I'm squeezing so hard, her ribs are crushing my legs. "Ok, that's fine, now you need to kick. Kick harder. You need to make her listen to you. Can you kick harder than that? You have to really kick her." I end up kicking so hard, my feet come out of the stirrups, my balance is completely off, and when the horse finally trots, I'm so disorganized that she drops back to a walk before I can post more than two or three strides. The fact that this has been my experience for two lessons in a row, on two horses, has left me feeling like absolute crap.
I love spending time with horses. I love the idea of riding well and learning to communicate...but instead, I feel like I'm not even thinking about the horse, I'm thinking about the instructor telling me I need to kick harder, thinking I'm some kind of idiot, and feeling annoyed with the horses I ride for not being able to get through to them. It's hard to have patience with myself or the horse when I can hear the instructor's increasingly despairing tone as she realizes I'm never going to get the horse into a trot.
Does anyone have advice? I can't understand where I am going wrong—or, for that matter, how "real" riders manage to cue their horses into a canter from a walk or standstill, with zero kicking or visible struggle involved. Is this normal after so many lessons? A friend was telling me she learned to trot on the first lesson. Meanwhile, I feel miserable, like I've had zero connection with these horses, and the instructors' feedback to squeeze or kick harder has not helped with that.
